The High School Mean Girls Alignment Chart
Inspired by "Thoroughbreds," in theaters March 9
Live fast, die young—bad girls do it well. Here’s where our favorite adolescent anti-heroes fall on the alignment chart of High School Mean Girls:
Lawful Good: Veronica Sawyer, Heathers
Despite her teen angst bullsh*t leaving quite the body count, this reluctant member of Westerburg High’s most exclusive clique always acted according to her well-meaning (though dubiously followed) moral compass. And she stopped her ex from blowing up all of her classmates, which has to count for something.
Lawful Neutral: Regina George, Mean Girls
Regina may have personally victimized many of her fellow students (and a few teachers) during her pre-varsity field hockey days as Head Plastic, but she had her own struggles with anger, her body, and her agency. And when she released the contents of her burn book into the halls of her high school, she knew that every classmate was culpable. Hence, the riot that ensued.
Lawful Evil: Heather Chandler, Heathers
Heather didn’t make the rules, she just played them with the most ruthless and focused ambition of any high school mean girl in the history of high school mean girls. She was just trying to be the strong leader Westerburg High needed, and to teach people how to spread their wings and fly. She even got Veronica into a Remington party!
Neutral Good: Lily, Thoroughbreds
You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette, and it kind of seems like her stepfather, who wants to get rid of her by sending her back to boarding school, is a pretty bad dude. Some call it murder, but others call it a win-win situation.
True Neutral: Amanda, Thoroughbreds
She feels nothing. Who’s to blame for brain chemistry that makes one a psychopath? What we’re trying to say is, Amanda is the kind of monster you want on your side when the chips are down.
Neutral Evil: Courtney Alice Shayne, Jawbreaker
Look, she didn’t mean to kill her best friend—it was an accident! Can you blame Courtney for doing whatever it took to protect her two other best friends (and herself, of course) from taking the fall? Even if that meant turning Judy Greer into a high school ingenue and making onscreen whoopee with Marilyn Manson at his very sleaziest?
Chaotic Good: Nancy Downs, The Craft
We can question her methods, but the fact remains: Nancy was a witch AND an avenging angel. In classic witch fashion, however, she was given a really bad rap and remains highly misunderstood.
Chaotic Neutral: Enid Coleslaw, Ghost World
Oh she’s mean, all right, and she makes some questionable choices whose motivations are mysterious to even—er, especially—her. Turns out you don’t need to resort to violence in order to ruin someone’s life.
Chaotic Evil: Kathryn Merteuil, Cruel Intentions
Yeah no, she had it coming. In the immortal words of Bell Biv DeVoe, “That girl is poison!”