The Man You Had in Mind


directed by James Tuchschmidt, 94 minutes

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The story typically goes: you fall head over heels in love, have lots of sex, make a commitment, move in together, start sharing your dreams and goals, buy a house, maybe raise a child or two, care for each other when times are tough and eventually grow old together. This is the American dream and what most of us strive for: to share our lives with someone special. This documentary explores the intimate lives of five gay male couples; the forces that bring them together, the journeys they face and the culture in which they survive and thrive. Each of the couples have been selected because they embody the unique characteristics of a distinct period along a continuum in the life of a gay couple and have interesting stories to tell. Ben & Tyler, one year; Frank & Lee, seven years; Bill & David, 10 years; Todd & Bill, 15 years; Eric & Eugene, 51 years.

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Top reviewer
3 members found this review helpful Created 9 months ago.

Very well done! The couples seemed to be very open and honest about the ups and downs of their relationships. Each one had a different approach, but the common theme of love, respect, and work to make the relationship work--from the year old relationship- to the 51 year one. I appreciate the work that went in to make this film, and the willingness of the participants to be open.

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Top reviewer
3 members found this review helpful Created almost 2 years ago.

Absolutely outstanding! Anyone who is contemplating or is in a same-sex relationship should make this a must-see! Frank, yet deeply touching.

1 member found this review helpful Created over 2 years ago.

Very good ~

Top reviewer
Created 16 days ago.

It's a pretty 70s-accurate movie that paints a portrait of upper middle class gay men's life in New York in the 70s. Think the gay equivalent of Ryan O'Neal's preppy fom Love Story (this film's plot is nothing like Love Story), making his post-graduate way through the gay world. It's very well acted, with great production values, believable, sympathetic characters, real conflicts and resolutions, and an interesting ending. It's well worth watching.

Created 3 months ago.

touching how the film maker captured each couple's uniqueness. Supporting (or not) friends and family added context to how they described their commitment to each other. A very well done documentary.

Top reviewer
Created 5 months ago.

Outstanding interviews and well handled with the subject matter. A movie certainly
worth watching.

Created 5 months ago.

Excellent Documentary ! Beautiful !

Created 9 months ago.

(not until I know where my words will go, how they may be used)

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0 of 3 members found this review helpful Created over 1 year ago.

I'm a gay man but was not able to relate to only the first couple.

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